if you just give in
by januarylightsphere
Summary: [Shishiou/Female Saniwa] /drabble dump, unconnected/ "Nue, attack him!" "Eh? Aruji -" /saniwa and shishiou, through time/
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Shishiou.

 **Notes:** stress relief fic. did when i was waiting for the bell so that i can get out of the room.

* * *

"I can't believe there is snow in the citadel." - is the first thing you say when you open the window (after finally resigning to the fact that you can't get anymore sleep because of Jiroutachi's snoring in the next room. And you've thought Taroutachi could keep an eye on him!). You've been expecting a violent cold, not this, not this gorgeous falling of the white substance from the sky. Beautiful, big snowflakes cascading on light breezes catching the light in ways that seems to brighten the world. It's really really pretty. (You're weak to pretty thing, you sigh, weak to Midare's smile and Kashuu's face and Shishiou - hold on, why are you even weak to Shishiou?) Just... there is something about _this_ kind of snow that make you wonder if the world could stay like this forever. An oasis of gently pretty falling snow that you adore - save for when you can never get back to your house without being wet and miserable. You love the gentle quietness that comes with it, when the world seems so silent, so peaceful -

Somehow, though, you find yourself in the presence of someone who has no idea what the word 'silent' mean: "AH, IT'S SNOWING!"

You find yourself half-wishing to break his neck. The scenery in front of your eyes has been so peaceful, so refreshing, until Shishiou's shot interrupts in. Calm down, calm down, don't lose your cool. It's not cool. Teeth gritting, you turn to see him bundled up - it isn't that cold, damn it. And he's wearing armor and Nue!

"Shishiou..."

"Snow falls earlier this year." He says, gesturing to the snow on the yard. "Aruji-sama, do you reckon that there will be a huge wave coming or something?"

"Rain comes before the snow. Enemies before the snow. I think we're good." Your eyes flickle upward for a single fleeting second. "Do you get like this every year."

"Get like how? You think I don't know you're rolling your eyes at me." Then you hope your eyes are cold enough to burn. "I like snow." He says. "But this guy doesn't." He glances at Nue, and you think, if Nue could say, you'd hear an endless rampage about how snow was the absolute worse, jugding from the look Nue is giving Shishiou. "But..." His eyes settle on the snow on the nearby ledge and lightens. "I mean, can we use snow to attack the enemy?"

"That's ridi-" Shishiou hauls back and you take a second to curse your slowness, before the snowball, with such accuracy, lands on your face. Screw being cool and collected. Screw your first Tachi. Screw Shishiou. You kick the door open and glare at him, who is too busy laughing and shout. "You just rebelled against your own saniwa! I can't believe you - Nue, attack him!"

"Eh? Aruji -"

I round the snowball.

"I'll show you! You green pepper!"

"I am not!"


	2. Chapter 2

**disclaimer:** My owning Touken Ranbu? Haha. Haha.

damn, it's very hot here.

* * *

"You know, Shishiou, I think you're really cool." Aruji-sama says it so offhandedly, so casually – her voice is always so soft that it makes him have to strain his ears to hear it (she may just do it on purpose, though, because he hears her shout at Tsurumaru for giving her nasty surprises.)

"Eh, what?"

Sometimes, he doubts that she has learnt this from Tsurumaru, always saying things at his least expected moment. And it's so rare of her to give a compliment, because all the times she's just 'oh, so you've come back, please take a rest' (the thing that gets her to react is when someone is injured, and Shishiou remembers Aruji-sama dashing out of the door and dragging the injured one into the workshop.)

"Nothing." She snaps, she always snaps, and he knows she has definitely said something.

"Really, but I've just heard —"

"You heard nothing!"

"— that you said I'm really cool. I know, Shishiou-sama is just that awesome." He grins widely, and this time, he doesn't drape his arms around her shoulder (like he always does when he wants to see her flare up, to get some reactions out of her.), but instead look at her. Watches for the rolling of her eyes, a twitch of her lips, for any displays of emotion, anything.

"If you heard, why would you ask?" He has the strangest feeling that she wants to punch him in the face (with the disturbingly blanket face ever), and the moment he looks at her, he kind of understands why — because he wants to do that to himself too. Something in the deep of his core is afraid because she's just a girl – she's young and should be carefree, should not be caught in this spiral —

She's young, her hands are small and her shoulders are delicate —

And she's pretty.

Shishiou knows what's pretty the moment he sees it. He knows that even Aruji-sama likes pretty things, she can't stop saying about how pretty Kashuu is, how pretty Midare is, how beautiful Souza is, how cute Nue is (He doesn't really know about others, but it's enough if she likes Nue.)

And it's silent for a moment – and strange too, when he's standing and she's sitting, and Shishiou suddenly has the weirdest feeling of being in a company of a princess.

It's not like he minds though, because it's as the same as his duty. ("If the saniwa dies, everything will end.")

He definitely doesn't mind being her knight.

(He doesn't want to be prince, because it's Ichigo's job and really — if she knows he considers her as a princess, she won't be happy.)

* * *

 **maybe a knight, yes.**

 **i doubt.**


	3. Chapter 3

You never know, but you don't like the city.

This place is too noisy, too busy, too full of expectations, and so full of lies that can be sensed from mile away. You detest it, the way that the bodies are so close together, huddling together, but people and their minds are always world apart.

You don't like it, the feeling of being watched. It scares you, because you don't even know why you're being followed. There are many gaps in your memories when you wake up in the white world of hospital, and everyone tells you that you've done well. Done what? You question, but no one replies. There are many people that are like you, they say, all of you will get over this eventually.

\- it leads to the feeling that you don't belong there. You are too fragile, too calm, too weak for this world. And there are bad people everywhere, who dreams things that are beyond galaxies, beyond the future. Isn't it good enough? Isn't 2205 good enough?

(you realise, later, that they watch you because they're scared of your remembering everything.

because they put those strange devices on your head and tell you to calm down and sleep.

but there are feelings that overcome everything.)

xxx

 _(The name's [blur]. My black lacquered tachi is cool too, right!?)_

Sometimes, you think you may be dreaming.

There is fire burning in your hands, blow up your feet and may be your life, when something - someone takes form in front of your eyes - black and golden and beautiful, steel turning flesh and cold turning warm and you have to inhale sharply -

There are pair of eyes that take in your soul.

xxx

In your dream, you're lost, wandering, questioning about what you should do.

(keep your distance, you don't belong to their time, they don't belong to your time - who are they?)

You look at the person in front of you, golden hair and black armor and a strange creature on his shoulder, smiling.

"Oh, you're the new master. You're younger than I expected."

You frown.

"It's Aruji-sama to you."

xxx

(you're no princess, he's no knight, he's just one of the people who keep you from getting lost)

Thump.

"I'm alright."

You don't reply, focus on tending the wound on his shoulder. He's thin, the thinnest of his kind, and maybe your hands are shaking a bit because it's so easy to break him in half -

"Really. I just failed the bite..."

"Shut up."

His eyes lightens up as the star as if he discovered a new thing in your face and your heart start to beat so fast that you can hear it with your every breath.

(like he has just realised that you do care for them, like you're not as nonchalant as you appear to be -)

(in your dream, where you can remember their faces, you know why you should keep your distance.)

xxx

(you're getting lost)

It's natural. You wake up and recall nothing, even though you're crying and your hands are shaking.

("We will meet in another time, right?")


	4. Chapter 4

It's funny, Shishiou thinks to himself, how she looks like a dream in the nighttime.

The wind rushes around them as he stands and she sits with her legs dangling over the roof of her room in the citadel, the breezes carrying the scent of the leaves and the earth and the water while the stars up above them glitter silver and golden, lightening up the skies. Down below, there is a river flowing up and down with a soothing pattern that almost puts him to sleep, almost makes him wish that the peace would last forever.

Almost.

(Looking at Aruji when she's like this is almost surreal, too different from the cold expression she usually wears, too young to be involved in this war, and he'll get all sorry and sentimental -)

"You take sugar with tea?" Shishiou questions, the worlds spilling out of his mouth without permission, and she turns to him, eyes reflecting all the stars, and there is a hint of smile on her face.

"Of course I do. I don't like anything too bitter."

"I think you like coffee."

"Oh, so you remember? I drink it to keep myself awake."

Unhealthy. He wants to say, but he remembers it's not his problem.

"Tea is not bitter, you can have it with old man -" He stops, taking in the feeling of her fingers on his cheeks, before his hair is brushed out of his face and he can see more clearly, she's smiling.

"I'm going to say something really sappy now."

"Then don't say."

"It's such a beautiful night." She says, and he doesn't see anything sappy about it. "So I think we should do a little talking. There is no point in being up here and staying silent, right? But I don't know what to say." She flicks his forehead, _who does she think she is?_

Shishiou raises his eyebrows at her. "We always can stargaze." He suggests airily, and Aruji fails to hide her laughter.

"I never thought you were the type to do stargazing." Aruji sounds genuinely surprised. "I think you're all about tea and sleeping, like any old men."

"Hey!"

"But I guess I haven't known you long enough." She mutters, taking his hair and twirls it around her fingers.

He makes no attempt to move away, "But you've made an quite impression. You yanked my hair and Nue when we first met." By his side, Nue stirs, and Aruji shoots Nue an apologetic look.

"I was excited. When they said it'd take a long time to forge that time, I was excited. When I saw you... I just... couldn't help myself."

"You were excited?"

"Yes."

Excited? So excited that her face was so blank? And she didn't even let him introduce properly. She just looked away!

"I can't believe you."

"That -" Her tone is defensive, "You can ask Kashuu! When I got him, I was too shock to utter a word. And the first thing I did was to look at his heels! The only one that I've been calm to shake hands with is Ichigo!" She looks away from him, snatching up one of many fireflies dancing across on the air in her hands. "Want one?" He would laugh at her weak attempt to change the topic if she wasn't wearing an expression of wonder on her face.

"A firefly? Why do you think I need a firefly? I know you're weird -"

"I'm being nice to you." A 'don't test me' is left unsaid. Finally, she shakes her head in defeat, before she suddenly leans close (too close) to deposit the firefly on his head where it bounces a bit but doesn't fly off. "Wow, it looks good on you." She tells him sincerely, and maybe, maybe the wind does stop. She's still too close, eyes reflecting stars and fireflies and -

 _Old man, I think I'm sick. Do you think swords can get sick?_

It's funny, Shishiou thinks to himself, how much she looks like dreaming comes true.


End file.
